Paper or Plastic?

How about cloth? So, went to the doctor yesterday for my annual checkup - that's always so much fun. You know, after this experience I think I'm going to investigate purchasing my own gown for the future. No, I'm serious! The nurse did let me wait until the doctor was finished in the next room so I wouldn't have to sit there naked and"draped" (and I use that word loosely) forever. Still, sitting there for five minutes in that state is rather uncomfortable. They don't use real cloth gowns anymore. They use freakin' paper. She gave me a cropped top from paper (that opens in the front) and a sheet of paper to place over my lower half. ... Um, ok. First off, as I was trying to put the "top" on I kept hearing it tear. Bloody hell! There is nothing to help keep it closed in the front. If I pulled it down far enough in the front to hold it closed, the back barely covered my shoulder blades ... keep in mind I just have a stiff, thin piece of paper covering my lower half in the front, so my entire backside is just hanging in the breeze so to speak. I tried tucking it in under my thighs - didn't work so well. I'd pull the back down and I'd hear something tear - again. I'd try holding it closed in the front and the damn thing was up around my shoulders in the back. UGH!

By the time she (the doctor) came in I gave her this evil eye and said, "You know isn't very effective, right?" Yeah yeah yeah - she went to explain they used to have the cloth gowns (yeah, I know - I remember them!) and they went to paper because the cloth gowns weren't cost effective. That brings me back to why I'll purchase my own for next time. She asked me if I wanted her to get me another "sheet?" "Um, no, let's just get this over with so I can get dressed!" That being said, she proceeds to start this conversation with me about any questions or concerns I have, what prescriptions I need refills on, etc. After sitting there holding my front together for a good 10 minutes or so (I think my hand and arm was locked in that position), she decided to get this show on the road and says, "OK, lift your arms." Now I've just spent how long trying to hold everything together, needing another pair of hands to do it successfully and she tells me to raise my arms. Uh huh. You know what happens - everything just falls away. I know I'm at the doctor, but really? Oh but wait! I gets better!!

After the boob exam, she tells me to scoot to the end of the table. Sound simple? While it should be, it seems nothing is simple with me. Oh, and I'm back to trying to hold everything together again ... I've "flashed" a few times during the conversation and exam so am a bit sweaty ... can you see where I'm going with this? The freakin' paper is sticking to me like glue!! As I try to scoot to the end of the table, I'm taking all the paper with me! Nice huh? Un-be-lieve-able. It wasn't pretty. I'm sure it's nothing she hasn't seen before but still ... anyone know where I can buy my own real cloth gown?

Hopefully I have until next year to solve this little issue ...